Alzheimer's affects thousands of Americans, some as young as 35..others as old as 90. Science and medicine have not yet developed a cure for Alzheimer's disease, but many nursing homes, group homes, and researchers have found ways to make the "long goodbye" go a little easier.
Home health care, live-in nurses, and group homes are quickly becoming new alternatives to families who have a dear loved one with alzhiemers disease. Many nursing homes are implementing "Alzhiemer's Units" to better comfort residents with the disease.
As a daughter of an alzhiemer's victim, I understand the pain of watching a loved one slowly drift away. Listed below are a few pointers for helping families and victims to cope:
Keep old photos around where the person resides. Usually this is comforting to them, as most of their remaining memory is in the distant past. If it seems to make them more weepy or nervous, do not do this. However, it is usually helpful to caregivers to remember the person that they are really working with. Sometimes taking a long hard look at how grandma or grandma used to be can help keep things in perspective.
Take one day at a time. Do not wear yourself down thinking of the negative things, or wondering how long they will live. Try not to dwell on things like, "Will they forget who I am?" . People with Alzhiemer's have good days and bad days, and no one really knows why. A heart-wrenching visit to the nursing home one day may be replaced by a happy visit next time.
Since the "distant past" that Alzhiemer's patients usually slip back to is often their late twenty's and early thirties, children are often met with great joy. If your children are not upset by your loved one's confusion then don't hesitate to bring them along now and then. In all my years of geriatric nursing, I have to say that some of the biggest smiles came when an alzhiemer's victim sees a small child.
Be sure that your loved one's advanced directives are taken care of before they become incompetent. Usually there are "warning signs" that Alzheimer's may be impending. Mood swings, personality changes, and forgetting simple things are often evident before the diagnosis.
Tie up loose ends before the situation becomes more difficult, and be sure they have their wishes documented concerning tube feeding, cpr, etc.
Don't blame yourself. Often when a victim is agitated, they will exaggerate things or become over-sensitive. Although the feelings that they are having are real, it is not your fault. During times of anxiety/agitation there are not many things that you can say to redirect the person. Do not blame yourself if you cannot stop their crying. Do what you can to comfort them, but remember that they do have a disease that is affecting their thought process.
Be careful when "correcting" them about things. If the disease is progressed, Alzheimer's patients will seem to have really lost touch with reality. It is usually better to not correct them if their perception of things is not disturbing to them. Saying "your husband died 30 years ago" will often just make the victim mistrust you and become more fretful. If they think they are back at the farm, let them be there and just enjoy their company.
Short, frequent visits have proved to be the best in my situation. Many times the alzhiemer's victim becomes exhausted after just an hour of visiting. Yet shortly after you leave they are nervous and afraid, and looking for you. Visit often, but don't wear them out to the point where they feel worse. Save your energy for the next time, and come a little sooner.
Do not scold the resident or talk to them like a child. Although this may seem obvious, it is quite common. Family and loved ones are hurting too, and it is sometimes too easy to lash out at the victim. We want so badly to have grandma back the way that she was. If you feel overwhelmed, take a walk, talk to a friend, or join a support group. There are many available.
This article is based on my experience as a nurse, mother and daughter of a beautiful lady with alzhiemer's. If it has been helpful to you feel free to reprint it as much as you like.
Something to think about...
The Wheelchair
Don't see the wheelchair, see my spirit how it runs.
Don't see the bandages, see the glow in my smile.
Don't see the amputation, see the body that managed to survive.
Don't see the tremors, see the determination in my eyes. ..........by Sarah Skiba
Questions and further information available by email. angel@tznet.comHome Prayer requests and support.
