Article Presented by:
Bruce Elkin
"Out of clutter, find Simplicity.
From discord, find Harmony.
In the middle of difficulty lies Opportunity."
-- Albert Einstein
Many who come to me for help feel their lives (or some parts of them) are difficult, cluttered, and discordant. Worse, they feel guilty because they can't "balance" all the parts of their lives.
Don't feel bad. You can balance a clock, car wheels, and sometimes a seesaw, but it's hard to balance a life. And if you could, would you really want to?
A second definition of "balance" is "to cancel out."
In nature, balance often means death. Experts tell us that living systems exist "far from equilibrium." In frigid Artic air, for example, your body maintains a temperature far from balance.
So why do people seek balance?
Because they have competing desires.
Career or Family? Simplicity or Success? Being or Becoming? Trying to achieve both can lead to much back and forthing between desires. So people try for balance.
But most such attempts lead to seesaw behavior. Balance is precarious. A slight pressure on one side of a seesaw tips it into imbalance. And seesaws balance just 2 things!
So, what's the alternative? All work and no family? Simplicity but no success? No. The alternative is integration.
Integrate means, "combine (parts) into a whole."
When you combine parts of your life into an integrated whole, things become simpler. Discord and difficulty give way to opportunity. Life becomes coherent. Harmony increases.
Take an Olympic athlete, for example. By organizing her life around what matters most, she lives a far from balanced life. Sport predominates. But it doesn't drive out the other parts of her life.
She still has friends, does yoga, goes to church, maintains a special relationship, often works at a day job, and may even go to school. But because she integrates those things so they support her predominant athletic goal, her life is whole and harmonious.
You can do the same thing.
Rather than force parts of your life to balance, your life will be simpler, more successful, and harmonious if you arrange less important parts to support predominant parts.
Instead of making yourself "jog 30 minutes a day," and hating it, envision the fit, healthy, and vital body you would love to have. Then organize as many parts of your life as you can to support that vision.
Start walking. As you get fitter, start jogging or cycling, until you can do 30 minutes a day. Use your increased fitness to ski, dance, do Pilates, or other physical things with friends.
Bring eating habits in line with your vision of vitality. Become a non-smoker. Instead of hanging out with drinkers at a bar or bon-bon eaters in cafÈs, hang out with like-minded friends at the Y, Curves, or running clubs.
Read about exercise, health, and spirit. Go to events that inspire you to stretch your capacity. As getting fit gradually becomes something you love, it engages your whole self. It enables your head, hands, and heart to come together.
The confidence that comes from physical success enables you to stretch in other areas of life. Take on challenges, develop new capacities, and integrate those into a life lived from your deepest values and highest aspirations.
As your whole life becomes integrated, it becomes simpler, more successful, harmonious, and joyful. Wordsworth put it beautifully: "With an eye made quiet by the power/ Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,/ We see into the life of things."
To create joy and harmony in your life, focus on what matters most. Put first things first and organize your time and actions so they support what truly matters.
If you do this well, your life will flow. You'll feel more relaxed, even as you get more done. Instead of being a sad lament, your life will sing like a sweet sounding whole.
So, forget balance. Think integration, and create harmony.
About the Author:
Bruce Elkin is the author of Simplicity and Success and 2 other books. He is an internationally acclaimed Personal & Professional Life/Work Renewal Coach with 20 years experience. Get his free eNewsletter at http://www.bruceelkin.com/free.html Visit http://www.BruceElkin.com and http://createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com
